East West - The Asian American Lifestyle Magazine

Mirian Lee, 27, Ph.D. student at the University of California at Berkeley
David Hong, 27, web technologist  

Wedding date: June 2, 2007, in Los Angeles

Dave and I have come to a realization that we will need a wedding consultant/coordinator to help us prepare for the wedding as we are going to have a big wedding and a long one as well. Not only did we feel it necessary, but many friends also suggested it as they witnessed us struggle.

We have the wedding ceremony set at LACPC (Los Angeles Christian Presbyterian Church) in El Serrano/Pasadena. At the moment the ceremony is scheduled for 5 PM but that might change. Soon after the ceremony there will be a reception for our guests where we hope to serve Korean food (buffet) and other treats. Thereafter, we plan to head on with only close friends and family to the post-wedding party for cake cutting, dance, paebak ceremony, more food and other reception events that are usually celebrated in traditional western settings.

In order to help us budget, organize and keep both of us sane, we’re currently getting in touch with several wedding consultants in Los Angeles and hope to meet them soon. I believe one possible choice might be Galleria Wedding in Koreatown, which is located inside the Galleria Plaza. I’m considering them because I’ve tried some dresses from there that I liked, I liked their service and offers and they also offered wedding consulting. It’s a lot in one package, so it might be helpful. Meanwhile, we will soon be choosing our photographer/videographer as we head to LA in two weeks to interview two studios. Dave has been more responsible for this and we’re scheduled to meet them on the Nov. 22 in Koreatown.

It ends up that many of these vendors/services provide a decent price for our budget, they are all closely located and they understand how Korean-American weddings can be. I feel like I need the wedding consultant to truly help us prepare for the post-wedding party and to be there on our wedding day to help the ceremony and party run smoothly.

We’re on our way to prepare the save the date cards this weekend and hope that our distant friends and family abroad will be able to make it to our wedding. It’s going to be a gold envelope/card with a cream note card that simply announces that June 2, 2007 in Los Angeles has been set as our wedding date.

We ordered the material from www.papersource.com. I was impressed with the quality of material and its beautiful packaging but picking the right color tone via internet didn’t provide the most accurate shade. What we have is a lot stronger in tone than I expected but to get this task over with, we’re going to send it. I think we’ll need to be more careful when we purchase the invitation material.

We are also trying to narrow down our post-wedding party to either a nice hotel such as The Viceroy, which had the perfect ambience, set-up that I personally imagined or a nice room at Sunset Commons at UCLA. I definitely like the idea of returning to UCLA. It’s not only a place where we both met and began dating but we each have and share great memories during our four years at UCLA. It’s a nice location, symbolic and seems to work with our budget as well. We were told that we could make reservations after Dec. 2, if we were interested. I hope this latter idea works out because it’s been one choice that I am truly happy with. So far, I must give credit to the groomsmen who have been great in helping us search for these locations. Soon enough, we’ll pass on this information to the wedding coordinator as we began detailing the preparations. Dave and I will be in LA in two weeks to make more local decisions and we hope to provide more information!

Happy Thanksgiving! We finally drove down to Los Angeles to join our respective families for the holiday. Once the turkey eating and family gathering was done and over with, I have been visiting and finding out more information about wedding vendors. The only drawback to many of these vendors is that they mainly speak Korean. However, I would not let that hold back for us who understand or speak some Korean; even with broken Korean/English between us and them, I didn’t it find it impossible. Besides, many of these vendors have been in the business for so long that they get the idea right away.

The first thing Dave and I did in Los Angeles was visit two photo studios that were referred to us by friends of friends. We definitely liked from the beginning Blue22photography and the studio owner, Haeng. He was professional and patient. The albums and photos he personally worked on were impressive and really pleased both Dave and I in terms of style and quality. What also seems to be a great factor is the different package options and pricing. They were varied, mostly practical and not over the top expensive. We both decided to hire Haeng and made our reservation for our special day. Our photography package includes a two day shoot: one casual day engagement type photography and the second day at our wedding/reception date all under $3500. We’ll soon be leaving a holding deposit. He’s fluent in English by the way . . . . I would recommend him to anyone. While Dave spent the rest of Thanksgiving weekend with his family in San Diego, I decided to take the opportunity to seek more information and thus the following:

I have been going to Kim Sun Young hair salon since high school. While I was getting a trim, I also booked wedding hair and make up. They will do my hair for the casual shooting day, a free skin care treatment, as well as hair/make up for the wedding day. The pricing is around $250. Not too shabby, right?

My mom has a very good and close friend from her church, who is a florist and is very experienced in setting flower decorations at the chapel where we will be having our wedding. We met her at her flower shop, Jane Park’s Flowers on 6th street, between Normandy and Wilshire. It was great to hear her suggestions without any pressure and just hear her experience and knowledge. It was clear that she knew what she was talking about because after seeing her portfolio and talking to her, I felt very comfortable in working with her. Besides, being my mom’s friend always provides itself with a few perks. If we were to hire Mrs. Park, she has promised that there will be problem in providing flowers arrangements, bouquet, and other flower needs for the wedding party and respective family members all for about $1500 to $2000. She was kind enough to be honest and say that $3000 would be a LOT of flowers and not really needed. What was also great about working with her is that she is very budget conscious and offered the idea of having the arrangements and flower decoration all done so that we could transfer them to our reception area and save us some money. We essentially wouldn’t need to order double the amount on something that would be great for ambiance and decoration but die in a day or two.

Assuming that it was done by wedding dress shops, my mom and I visited a few Korean dress shops but we were treated with a rather cold shoulder for showing up without appointments: after a few snubs we finally asked where or by whom the paebak clothing was provided by. We were told that most Korean rice cake houses (dok jip) now provided the attire and the set up. Fortunately, my mom has worked with one for a few years on behalf of our church and we headed to Seoul Rice Cake House on Olympic Blvd. in Koreatown They pretty much bring the traditional rice cake setting, lend a traditional Korean dress/attire for groom and bride. However, once I asked about the procedure or so since I am unfamiliar with it, the lady said that I could find the information on the internet. Okay…..to confirm, I need to ask a friend of mine who recently got married about this process, as well as the wedding consultant just to make sure. However, the general price for the rice cakes, set up and attire is $350.

Yes, I finally have chose and purchased one. My parent’s gift to me. We ordered a custom-made dress from Galleria Wedding. I have to say that out of the many wedding dress shops I have been to either in Pasadena or other parts of the Los Angeles area, this place has been the most satisfying. They have a young, attentive staff. They are also very professional and not pushy at all. I liked various dresses but once I put on the one, that was it. It seems right for the type of wedding, it fits well and it is so pretty. We placed half the amount as a deposit and I will return in March to Los Angeles to get a better fitting.

We will meet a pair of consultants on Sunday Nov. 26 before returning to Berkeley. I am looking forward in hearing their ideas and hire them to help us fine tune the rest of our wedding preparation. At the moment, Dave and I still need to decide how and where the ‘reception’ will be for our wedding. Once this detail is decided by both of us, we’ll let you know further!

So far, I feel like a lot has been done and thought over. I am hoping that once Dave joins me on Sunday, we can make further progress. I don’t know how much we can really achieve once we return to Berkeley, other than finish our Save the Date cards and begin working on our invitations. Just a small note on this. We thought that hand making them [the invitations] would be cheaper and more fun but seriously…it’s too time-consuming to get all the ideas, supplies and actually get them done. For our Save the Date cards, we spent hours trying to figure out font and spacing. Once we began cutting the paper to fit our card design . . . that became one difficult task because it was not as easy to cut the paper accurately. We went to Kinko’s to at least get the paper cut professionally but their machine ended up eating half of our expensive stock paper and ONLY wasted our money. Now we need to buy more paper and we are back to square one. We will figure something out in time.

I cannot help but stress that all these wedding details barely gives time and room for Dave and I to work on our quality time. I am soon hoping that we can begin to set time apart to reflect on our mental, emotional and spiritual maturity because this period of preparation in itself has been such a personal test for me. No matter what, it is a lot of detail and work for a modern woman. There just isn’t enough time for what a wedding eventually becomes. I don’t blame bridezillas but I also can see how one should prevent in becoming one. It is not only about finding and planning details for a party but more…it now includes thinking about family, Dave, friends and etc…. No matter how much people around me -- including parents -- say that only what Dave and I want matters…. Oh please! This is an essay or book in itself that I will save for my sanity’s sake but simply put, as much as I want this wedding to be ours, a fine balance between how much or little respective family members contribute is e also key. From my perspective, too much involvement is obviously not sought but barely any is also a little knick on the heart. Do I explain myself? Or perhaps it’s my stressed bridal mentality. Anyway, as fun as it seems it is also overwhelming. Sometimes, staring at the expensive rock on the finger soothes the pain as it reminds me what it’s all for. . . but not always. I’ll let you guys know what happens.

We're at a stage to find additional information and ideas for our post-reception party as we plan to meet in person with our wedding coordinators, Annaha and Karen in December. They will research places and vendors for us and help us on our wedding day so that things run smoothly. There remains for us to get our invitations, our wedding bands, our marriage license and the wedding party attire, dress rehearsal, etc.... I am sure most details will work out in the end.

I am looking forward to wrap up major wedding plans soon. Wedding planning can be really fun and exciting; I personally am not the personality to enjoy this amount of preparation and thought for a one day over-the-top festivity. However, under the advice of many friends and family who went through a wedding, it seems that it's worthwhile in the end. Although on the other hand, no one said it was easy either.

It's a true test of character and faith for relationships. As a graduate student, I hear that graduate school can either bond or break relationships. I've seen and heard of many break. To add, wedding preparation can also do the same but all in all, as long as one maintains a positive and supportive attitude, I think it can work. I have really learned a lot about wedding preparations but have also revised my attitude and I realized that life offers more and it's really about being patient, understanding and faithful in the process and decisions that two people want to make.

Family is a major component to a wedding and the launch of a future life as a seriously committed couple. That is one missing life lesson through the whole wedding process that we now face as modern couples. We want it all through the material perspective and at times, build ourselves moats around our 'relationship' from others but, from my personal experience, I think we need to focus on building small bridges with our in-laws, parents, significant others and close friends because without their moral and emotional support, nothing seems to be pleasant or matter. It's easy to focus on the small details such as colors, location, etc. . . .

Any advice I can share? Learn to save money not only for a rainy day but for a wedding! Be organized and trust your instinct in terms of what you want. Patience is one virtue one NEEDS and keep a positive attitude throughout the process. Most importantly, don't forget the love that brought you to make this important day come true!