| My East West: A Tall Tale |
|
|
| June 2007 | |
|
I love hanging out with my Asian brethren. You commiserate and laugh about your overbearing parents, being an overachiever and people always asking, “No, where are you really from?” Recently though, I made the decision to stop hanging out in all-Asian crowds. Why? Because as a 6-foot-tall Chinese woman, I'm an outcast. The girls say, “Why do you wear heels? You're already so tall. I hate you.” Then they turn on their 5-inch stilettos and group together. Same thing with the guys. Even though they agree that I'm smoking hot, I'm just too darn tall. So they stop talking to me and hit on the little Asian women. Soon, everyone is just congregating below me. Asian clubs are the worst. First, no one dances. Second, I'm way out of place. On one occasion, I was at a club in Hollywood and I could see clear across the room in all four directions. I was only wearing 2-inch heels, but suddenly, all I could see was the top of everybody's head. I used to try to fit in and crouch down, but I stopped doing that. I still have bad knees from freak-dancing with too many short guys in college. People say they're jealous of my height, and if I could just lend them 2 inches, they would die happy. I know…it's great to have long legs. People respect you more, too. In high school plays, I was always cast in the responsible roles of mother, manager or camp counselor, and studies show tall people make more money. So, being tall is good. Everyone wishes they could be a few inches taller, right? Well consider this. Being abnormally tall for your community also requires a complete lifestyle change. It's like being a celebrity without the money. Groups of young men call out, “Yo, Yao Ming!” when I'm walking down the street. People gawk in restaurants. When I step into elevators, bathrooms and grocery stores, I get asked the same questions: “Do you play basketball?” “Volleyball?” “Are you a model?” “So, which one of your parents is Chinese?”
People also ask if I date guys shorter than me. I try to be open minded and have gone out with vertically challenged men from time to time. I even had a short boyfriend once. Everything was perfect, but I couldn't get used to the height difference. If only he was 3 inches taller, we'd be married by now. He was 5'8”, but lied and said he was 5'9”. He couldn't handle it either. I once went on a date with a man who was 5'7”. I wore 4-inch platform wedges to dinner and was a whole 8 inches taller. He didn't realize how tall I was when he asked me out. During the date, though, I could sense he was acutely uncomfortable. As we stood up to leave the restaurant, he couldn't bring himself to walk next to me. So he walked behind me. I try not to date shorter men now. It's embarrassing. Plus, it's bad for my posture. So yes, being tall has its bad days. There are things I hate about my height, like not being able to find shoes, pants and eligible men. A lot of times I long to be ordinary or at least shorter. When I'm in public, people crane their heads and stare, and I just want to slouch down and be like everybody else. Then my less-tall friends remind me not everyone is blessed with supermodel genes. And I remember, the air is better up here.
Ivy Dai is a freelance writer based in Pasadena, Calif. She was a features writer for the Pasadena Star-News, where she wrote on food, entertainment and fashion. She has also been published in the Los Angeles Daily News, KoreAm Journal and Time Out Beijing. *Share your East West story. E-mail us today. |
By Ivy Dai 
Or my favorite is “You're really tall!” Tell me something
I haven't known for the last 24 years. I wouldn't mind it so much, if
it didn't happen five times a day. And for the record, I'm full-blooded
Chinese. And not Northern Chinese either; I just come from a really
tall family. My grandfather is 6'3” and I have a half brother who is
6'4”.
