East West - The Asian American Lifestyle Magazine

By Erin Yoshimura

With the popularity of television shows such as “Extreme Makeover” and “Nip/Tuck,” cosmetic surgery has become a household word.

According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, 6.9 million surgical and non-surgical procedures were performed in 2002 in the United States alone — that is a 228 percent increase since 1997!  My local news stations recently covered a story of how high school girls are receiving breast augmentations as graduation presents.

Still, the most common reasons women give for having such procedures is to look younger and less tired. And the most popular surgery for Asians is blepharoplasty or eyelid surgery.

I’m not for or against cosmetic surgery, although I do know how it feels to be taunted and teased about my Asian features. And, I am vain — I cover my gray hair, whiten my teeth and love it when people tell me I look 10 years younger than my true age.

But I question whether plastic surgery is a true remedy for long-term issues, and I believe a person needs to work on their internal self when altering something on the outside. If you go under the knife for something you don’t like about yourself, it doesn’t guarantee the emotional discord caused by the issue automatically will go away. Because changing the outside is great, but we can’t forget about the inside.

Ultimately, what's on the inside determines long-term happiness, and changing to fancier wrapping paper doesn't change the content of what's inside the box.

A profound statement was made by the executive producer of the “Nip/Tuck” cable series: “People more and more are externalizing their self-hatred and they have decided that they can fix their interior problems by making exterior corrections — there’s great folly in that.”

If you’ve lived for a long time not liking something, chances are it’s formed or shaped you who are. It’s a part of you that doesn’t go away overnight. You must work on your self-esteem all the time.

Rhonda Britten, star of the life coaching TV show “Starting Over,” says that self-esteem is not a one-time well to be filled. You must fill your well every day.

Here are my recommendations for ways to fill your well and “look fresher” on the outside:

Question your thoughts. Unless you think about your thoughts, they automatically happen. With every negative thought, the brain releases chemicals that don’t make you feel well. Changing thoughts to positive ones will release chemicals that make you feel good.

Watch your language. Contrary to popular belief, words can hurt you more than sticks and stones combined.  In a test, students were asked to unscramble five words in a variety of sentences, there were terms such as old, gray, lonely and wrinkle sprinkled throughout.  The study shows that after the students completed the word scramble and left, they walked slower than they did when they arrived. Those words alone induced a feeling of being old in the students.

Burn wood. As we go through life, we collect underbrush of hurt feelings, trauma, jealousy, anger. Clear out these thoughts like burning wood to help release any pain and anger you may have collected. If you’re like many people, there are individuals in your life for whom you have an intense aversion. Perhaps it’s time to update your feelings – after all, both of you are different people now.

Healthy brain practices.  Aside from drinking plenty of water, make sure you get enough sleep and that you eat enough good carbs. Eliminating carbohydrates from your diet can have a direct impact on brain function. In “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life,” Dr. Daniel Amen has a list of other brain-healthy suggestions, including toning. This is a simple way to help ease tension in the brain. Toning is chanting like sounds of ah-ay-ee-oh-om that balance brain waves and give a sense of well-being.

Meditate. Meditation focuses on deep breathing and emptying the thoughts in your brain — just like cleaning out your purse. You pull everything out, throw out what’s not necessary and put back what’s important.

Proprioceptive writing. This style of journaling helps you to release pent-up feelings by constantly digging into what’s underneath a feeling. Most journaling is a collection of thoughts or experiences. PW takes journaling a step further by guiding you to look beneath your experiences for a deeper meaning. (Learn more about proprioceptive writing at pwriting.org)

Find your passion and take action. Whether it’s stamp collecting or skydiving, constantly seeking out things you’re passionate about gives you a different outlook on life.

Smile. Yeah, believe it or not, studies show that by smiling, you activate muscles in the face that in turn stimulate the release of chemicals that make you feel good. This is different from smiling to hide your true emotions. Next time you’re down, sit by yourself and smile for a few minutes and see what happens to your outlook.

Change your default face. Many of the before surgery photos I’ve seen showed deep creases around the mouth and between the eyes from frowning and squinting. Take a break each day and check in with your face — do face exercises if necessary. If you want to get radical place a small mirror at your work station, and do a frequent face check.

Invest in a life coach. Life coaching, which is not therapy, closes the gap between who you are today and your ideal self. Working with a coach is a quick and easy way to break old patterns and create newer, more supportive ones.

All this change can be overwhelming. Try picking one or two of these and making gradual progress, a little each day.

There’s a saying, “by the yard it’s hard, but inch by inch, it’s a cinch.” Create a ritual of “inches” every day and before you know it, you’ll be yards prettier.

Erin Yoshimura, chief empowerment officer of Empowerful Changes™, specializes in emotional intelligence training and coaching. Email her at

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